well....i cant seem to bring myself to write on the blog lately cause it doesn't seem like i have too many positive things to say. so basically, i'm done with grad school. i've decided not to continue for a phd. ...for several reasons...don't really want to get into them all...but the main one is they were not going to allow me to pursue the topic turkish/german migration and literature...they would have rather had it that i learned french, because old dead bourgeois french guys had more of an impact on german culture back when people cared about aristocratic bullshit philosophie and poetry. i'm not happy can you tell?

so i don't have a plan right now. i'm thinking i'm going to get my ESL certificate and move to istanbul for a year or two and learn turkish...then i'll come back and figure out if i want to go back to academia...which i really right now do not....or if i want to do something with international education. i thought about working for the govt. being some sort of an ambassator or something...but i can't....seeing that i was newly reminded that i am a criminal and will have a fcking criminal record my whole life. sooooooooooooooooooo. any reccomendations would be helpful.

i went to an awesome concert this week...ukranian gypsie punk band called gogol bordello....i probably should have entered the mosh pit to get sweaty and really feel the music...but it was kind of scary...these huge neonazi's were there, they were really muscular with tatoos all over their necks...i didn't really want to be moshed down my them. wtf were they doing there anyways.

yeah...so now i have to write two papers...actually i'm procrastinating right now. i'm in a state of shock....a state of academic paralysis.....a state of fuck you and fuck them...and i have to still dance to their tune and it pisses me off. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

well...at least i'm writing about someone cool for one of the papers......my new secret dead lover bertolt brecht....i think we would have had wonderful revolutionary children.

and i'm eating pistachios cause i'm nervous and i'm trying to think of the next sentence and all i can hear is drunk people out on the streets screaming reminding me that is saturday night and i'm writing a pointless paper that no one will ever read.

boo hoo where's the tiniest violin i need it.

well whatever, i have everyone and everything so there.